The supplies you need are really expensive. (Not) I recommend a 2 pocket folder and notebook paper and a pencil so you can erase. Use what you have for now. On a blank piece of paper, write Killer List on the top. I called my own list this years ago and it took two pieces at the time. I hope yours doesn’t but if it does, that’s okay. Down the left side, one item per line, make a list of everything you owe including the dollar amount. Put the amount you pay each month unless it is something that doesn’t have a set amount. These put the total amount you owe. Start with essentials, rent or house payment, utilities, childcare, car payments, etc. Don’t worry about food, gas for the car, and all those things yet. Do your best to give a good estimate of what you pay each month on items that do not have a set amount like the utility bills. Just to help you remember everything: credit card bills, doctor bills, cable or satellite tv, washing machine or other appliance payments, computer payments, car insurance, life or medical insurance, mom, dad, or other relatives or friends you owe money to.

I have a plastic basket that I throw all the statements in. My daughter uses a file in her filing cabinet. The reason I use the basket is mine would end up on top of the filing cabinet anyway. I file them after I pay them but would not be disciplined enough to put them in the front folder on a daily basis when I go through the mail.

Now, go down the margin of the paper and write the due date for everything that has an actual due date. Write the due date, not the late fee if after date.

Next, get a second piece of paper, and rewrite your list, this time in due date order starting from the first of the month to the last of the month.  Skip a few lines and add the doctor bills, money owed to mom, etc. When you’re done, put this aside.

This next part seems hard at first, but it will get easier in time. Take out another blank piece of paper. How often do you get paid? Weekly, biweekly, monthly? Write down the left margin, 1, 2, etc. for however many days it is from one pay period to the next. What is the day of the week you get paid? Ours is Friday, so I write F on the first line, Sat on the next and on down for the days of the week. The reason is because my husband is off work on weekends. What I want you to write on this paper is a meal plan. I list one meal a day Monday through Friday, and two on Saturday and Sunday. That is our normal schedule. Yours is probably different.

We live in the Southern U.S. In the really lean years when we were raising our children, I had to feed us as cheaply as possible. Some weeks I would make a pot of ham and pinto beans, with corn bread on the side for Monday and Tuesday, turn the leftover beans into Chili for Wednesday, and then make chili dogs on Thursday.

When you’re done with this, take out another piece of paper.

On this one, write a grocery list based on the menu you just wrote. Estimate the price of each item. If you know or are pretty sure something is $1.79 as an example, round it up to $2. If it is under $1.50 but over $1, price it at $1.50, etc. The reason for always rounding up is to cover the sales tax. If you’re not real sure about the cost, always estimate high. Now add up the total of your list. On the next line start listing and pricing the other things you need to buy. Paper goods, laundry supplies, milk, cereal, sandwich or other items for packing lunches if you do, etc. Total again. Now list transportation expenses like gasoline, or bus fees, lunch money for yourself or your children. Total for the last time. Round this up too. I call this amount F&E for food and essentials. Record this amount on your killer list.

Now comes the fun part. Get another piece of paper. Write the month centered at the top of the page. We get paid weekly. So, I first look at the calendar to see if it is a 4 or 5 paycheck month. I draw a line down the center of the page, and draw one line across the page making a big plus sign if it is a 4 check month, 2 lines evenly spaced across if it is a 5 check month. If you get paid once a month, you won’t need any lines, obviously, and you will only need the line down the center if you get paid twice a month. Next, write the date of the check on the first line inside the boxes you created. Get your killer list. This is like a jigsaw puzzle. Don’t forget to list F&E then the dollar amount on the first line under the date in all the boxes. Fit in your payments, starting at the top of your list. Try to put everything the pay period before it is due. In the beginning you may not be able to, but given time, you will. If you can’t pay all of your rent or a car payment out of one check, split it between two. Estimate your pay amount low if it is not a set amount you are positive you can count on. Add each box to make sure you are under the amount of your check. If not, switch things around until you are. If you have boxes that there will still be money left, add items from the bottom of your killer list. If you are paying something late, or having to make a partial payment, call the people and let them know. This includes friends or family that you have borrowed money from. Call them, let them know you are going to do better managing your finances and tell them when you will be making a payment to them and how much you are going to pay. If something unexpected comes up and you can’t follow through, call and explain.

I feel that we need to stop and talk at this point. Do you make enough to pay all of your bills? If you don’t, first, I’m sorry. I’ve been there too. Bologne sandwiches suck after 2 months of having nothing else, and is not very healthy, but we do what we have to. Could you get a second job part time, find a roommate, a cheaper place to live? Times are tough right now for a lot of people. There is assistance out there to help pay utilities, and food banks to help with food. Don’t lose heart, just live your life one day at a time, and do the very best you can when you get paid.

For those of you who can barely pay everything: I know how hard this is in the beginning. Trust me, it will get easier and eventually everything at the bottom of your list will be paid off, and everything at the top will be being paid on time. No more late fees saves you a lot of money.

One of the awesome benefits of this is not just managing to pay off your debt. What you will find is that when you know when and how the bills are going to be paid, it is a lot less stressful. You will eventually find yourself not thinking or worrying about money between pay periods.

Tip 1. Don’t forget to schedule in birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.

Tip 2. In your check register, subtract out the partial payments scheduled that you will not be paying until you have the total amount. Example: if it takes 2 checks to pay your rent, write the word rent and subtract out the amount you have scheduled. Next time, write rent back in, add it to your balance, then check it off there and where you subtracted it out.

Tip 3. If you use a checking account, write the checks the day before you get paid, and drop them in the mail on payday.

Tip 4. PAY YOUR BILLS AS SCHEDULED ON PAYDAY! Don’t give yourself the chance to nickle and dime away your money.

Tip 5. If you do not have a checking account and have to deal in cash, money orders, and cashier checks: use small letter size envelopes labeled for rent, etc. and put in them the money for each bill as soon as possible after cashing your check.

I hope this helps.

First it’s a positive way to live. When you know when and how your bills are going to be paid, it helps give you peace of mind. Also, when payday arrives, you get out your budget, pay the bills, and then it is a lot easier to forget about money problems until your next payday. Believe it or not, it relieves a lot of the stress in marriages and relationships. For example: you have borrowed money from your parents, now you can show them when you will be paying them and how much at that time. If couples do the budget together, at least in the beginning, it gives both of them an understanding of how they are going to have to live, and for how long.

Is it impossible for some people to live on a budget? I would have to say maybe. Example: addicted to gambling, shopaholic because of issues like not feeling loved, etc, etc, etc. It would depend on whether or not the person is willing to confront this type of problems and strive to change them. There is nothing that cannot be overcome with enough will and determination. Knowing God is a big help too.

Okay, I’ve given you my reasons. Ready to begin this journey? If so, keep reading.

The first thing we need to discuss is a checking account. Some of you may be experts at maintaining a checkbook, but I am sure a lot of you aren’t. You may be saying that your credit is so bad, you can’t even get a checking account. That’s okay too. 

Having a checking account at a bank is a priviledge. It is your responsibility to maintain it by keeping good records and keeping a positive balance at all times. You don’t have to stop and record every debit card or check transaction you make at that very minute, besides, the people in line behind you at the store would not have appreciate it if you did. Put the receipt in your wallet. Treat the receipt as a very important document, because, until it is recorded in your check register, it is.

A typical check register has 8 columns. Number or code, date, description, payment amount, check mark, fee, deposit amount, and balance.

Number or code – can be - check number, DC if it is a debit card purchase, ATM if you got money from an atm machine, AD for automatic deposit, D for deposit, or the word AUTO for anything you have on auto draft that automatically comes out of your account each month.

Date – I think you get this one.

Description - What is the transaction? If it’s a purchase, write the name of the store. If it’s a check, write who it was written to. If it’s a deposit, write the name of where it came from. This will probably be the company you work for.

Payment Amount – Amount of your purchase or the check amount.

Check Mark – Leave blank, this will be used later.

Fee – Most banks today have free checking but some don’t. When you open the account they give you a pamplet or some kind of paper that tells you the terms. Some banks change a per check fee. If they do, this is where you record it.

Deposit Amount – I think you understand this one.

Balance – If you look at the top of this column you will see a place to put in a dollar amount on the title row. This is your starting balance if it is a new account, or the balance from the bottom of the previous page.

Now, all you have to do is be a good record keeper and fill in the information. When you come home in the evening be sure and spend the couple of minutes it will take to enter the receipts or deposit slips you collected thru the day. Always use a calculator to at least double check your addition and subtraction. ALWAYS enter the exact amount of each transaction. NEVER round a transaction or add two or more together and enter them as one. The amount that goes in the balance column is the check or purchase amount plus the fee if there is one subtracted from the balance on the line above this one, or the amount of your deposit added to the balance on the line above this one. Don’t skip lines in the balance column. Write the balance amount on each and every line. When I get to the end of a page, I always do a last check of the entire page with my calculator before I write the balance amount on the top of the next page.

Next is balancing your account with the statement you receive monthly from the bank. The statement will list debit card or auto draft items, checks, deposits, monthly bank fee, etc. This is what the check mark column is for. Go down the statement line by line and put a check mark in your check register for each amount listed on your statement. If there is something you forgot to write in, do it now and check it off. I keep the envelope the statement came in beside me for anything that is different. Example: if you accidentally recorded a debit card purchase as 10.06 and it was 10.08, write +.02 on the envelope. Or, if it was 10.08 and you wrote 10.06 write -.02. If there is more than one mistake that you caught, add or subtract them for a total you either need to add or subtract from your check register balance. Record this in the register with a description of Adjust account and check it off. Then add it to or subtract it from your balance and record the new balance the same as you do for any other transaction. When you’re finished with this, enter into a calculator the balance amount that is on the line with the last check mark. Anything above this line that is not checked off, do the opposite of what you did in your register. If it was a deposit you added, subtract it. If it was a purchase, add it, etc. When you’re done, compare the amount you end up with according to the calculator with the ending balance the bank says you have. Does it match? If so, good job. If not, write down the amount from the calculator, clear it and redo the calculator work to make sure you didn’t make an error. If you get the same amount twice that does not match the banks ending balance, you have two choices. 1. enter an adjust account transaction for the difference between what you have and what the bank says you have. 2. recheck your addition and subtraction on each page of your register and double check you checked everything off properly from the statement. I highly recomend number 2.

If you absolutely cannot figure out why you and the bank disagree, you should be able to get a teller to help you. If it’s a small amount, you can keep it written down somewhere and see if next month you disagree by the same amount, then possibly adjust your account. If it’s a large amount, I recomend you go to the bank for help.

If you have an account you have not been balancing every month, draw a line in your register and start fresh from there. You will probably have to trust the bank and adjust your account to agree with them the first time you try to balance it. If it means adding to your balance, I recomend you write that amount down and wait until you disagree by the same amount for 3 months.

Lesson 2 will be posted tomorrow.

   We had three horses. They had been moved and settled into the barn on the new place before we ever saw it for ourselves. At the old place, not only was it in the city limits and surrounded by houses, it had a very small pasture and no barn. This move was good for all of us because of the expansion in outdoor living space we were gaining.

   One more interesting fact: This was the second time we had lived in this house in the country. It was owned by a doctor and his wife, and they rented it to us. The first time, I was 5. We lived there for about a year, then my grandpa got sick with emphysema, and we moved to his farm to take care of it until it could be sold. He died a couple of years later. Mom and dad were attached to the farmhouse. A justice of the peace had owned it before and they were married in the living room. If they could have bought it, they would have.

   The very first day, I went to the barn with dad to check on the horses. That was the first time I saw the snake. Dad pointed it out to me. He gave this little speech about how black snakes are good snakes. They eat the mice and rats that carry diseases so if you had a black snake living in your barn, you were lucky. Whatever.

   I have three sisters, all older than me. Yes, I am the baby of the family. My dad’s nickname for me all my life was baby. He called me that right up until he died and I was grown with a family of my own at the time.

   The younger three of us were outdoorsy types. Our eldest sister liked it outside too, but she had allergies. The barn was a playground to us. In the winter when it was too cold to be outside, it provided shelter and we used it for everything from playing house with our dolls, to jumping rope in an empty stall. As we got older, it was used, in my case anyway, as a place to smoke when I was too young to be smoking. We were in it every day in the winter to feed animals, and a lot in the summer when we were riding our horses. It was actually just about as busy a place as the house.

   Through all of those years, every time I walked in there, I looked for the snake. It was usually on the top of a wall, watching us. I remember times when we were playing down in a stall, and it would be somewhere watching us, and then we would move somewhere else and it would follow. A couple of times it scared the crap out of me. Our oat barrel was metal and had a flat metal lid. Sometimes, someone, of course not me, would be careless putting it back on and it wouldn’t be centered right. It’s own weight and the groove all the way around the outside was the only thing that kept it on the barrel. I always put my hand on the lid, and lifted and shoved at the same time to knock it off and into the floor. See, if the lid isn’t on right, mice can get in the barrel. The outside must have been rough enough for them to climb, but the inside was worn too smooth because they would be trapped in the barrel. The black snake was not a tiny snake. It was probably 5 feet long when we moved in so I’m guessing the mice could squeeze through a smaller hole than it could.

   So, picture this. I shove the lid off, and at the same second the snake drops from somewhere above me into the barrel. I never stayed to watch it eat the mice, it was always at this point that I ran screaming outside. I’m not afraid of snakes. But, you try being in that situation as a kid.

   The years passed. Dad sold two of our horses and that left us with one old mare that was too old to be ridden. My sister’s and I left home starting our lives with our own families. The only time the barn was used was when dad fed the mare some grain and hay in the winter. Summers she was turned out on the pasture but one of the stall doors was left open so she had shelter from the rain.

   One summer day, my eldest sister came to visit mom for the day. The house and garage were connected by a porch, and there was a door going out the opposite way from the driveway. This door led to a fenced in side yard. As the grandchildren were born, my parents bought  swing set and some outdoor toys for them, and they were in this fenced yard. Mom and my sister were baking, and they propped open the outside door for her three year old son so he could play outside and come in and out as he wanted to. The kitchen door leading onto the porch was also open.

   Later that evening, dad was sleeping (he worked nights), and mom was curled up on the couch watching television. She felt something cold touch her bare leg. At first she didn’t think anything of it, she just assumed it was my cat that I had left there when I moved away. Then she remembered that she had let him outside earlier. She glanced at the other end of the couch and found out she had company. Our black rat snake who was now almost 7 feet long was curled up, watching television with her. Mom freaked. She didn’t remember how she got from the couch to dad, but she did very quickly. She woke him up and he went to the living room with her.

   The snake had gone over the arm of the couch and was coiled up under a bookshelf that was in the corner. It was one of those that had legs.  The only thing between it and the front door was our television, and it was one of those old types that had legs too. Dad opened the front door, and then shooed it from under the bookshelf and it went under the tv. He couldn’t get it to go on out the door, so he reached under the television and grabbed it. When he did, it bit him, but he got it outside.

   My family talked about it later and we have a theory. That snake had spent all of those years watching and listening to us playing and working in the barn. Then, it was all alone. When my nephew was playing outside that day, he was making the typical sounds for a little boy when he’s playing. It must have attracted the attention of the snake. We think it was lonely but there was no way any of us wanted a 7 foot black rat snake as a house pet.

   The point is that our lives weren’t perfect. Drugs and violence were a part of our every day lives, even in the mid-sized midwestern town I grew up in. But, today, I think is much different. I am thankful we live in a very small town in the NW corner of Arkansas. I feel for the parents and grandparents who have to send their children to a public school in the crime filled larger cities in America.

   Today, in this small town of less than 5000 people, they locked down all of the schools. Why? A junior high boy bragged to his friend that he had a gun and was going to shoot up the cafeteria at lunch time. On the news it says that the school notified the parents, and they didn’t. They have a program that parents can sign up for that will send you email alerts or a phone call if anything like this happens. My daughter and her husband didn’t get a call, or an email. They heard it on the news and called the school. The school officials told them they had received a threat but it wasn’t serious. Kids with internet access on cell phones are the ones who got the true story out, forcing the officials to tell the truth.

   School shootings have been a part of our lives for too long. I don’t have the answer, but I do like the program one of the elementary’s in a town near here is doing. They have a watchdog dad program. Before school, at lunch time, and after school, they have dad’s who volunteer, standing guard. They are an extra set of eyes, and ears to assist the teachers. Sorry ladies, but kids respect the authority of men more than they respect us.

   I know that getting involved is the answer. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. But, I also understand that not all of us have the time, legitimately, because of work hours.  Transportation can be another issue, as well as health.

   I guess the reason I wanted to write this is to let you know that you are not alone. Big city, small town, we are all having problems with violence in the school systems. We have to somehow stand together as parents, grandparents, or friends, and do what we can. Whether it’s volunteering some of our time at the school, or praying daily for our children’s safety. Just do what you can.